Forewarned is…

In her book “On Death and Dying” in 1969, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross proposed these ‘five stages of grief’:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Apparently it is not unusual for patients diagnosed with chronic illness – not just terminal illnesses such as cancer – to progress through these stages (not necessarily separately or in order).

I believe it. It became apparent to me sometime early last week that I had progressed neatly from ‘denial’ to ‘anger’ over this whole diabetes debacle. I don’t recall any ‘bargaining’, but that could be because I don’t subscribe to any Higher Power with whom to bargain? Regardless, these last few days, I seem to have landed squarely in ‘depression’. Despite my best efforts of the last two weeks, I seem to be headed straight for the insulin, probably by the end of next week, would be my best guess.

I know, I know… technically I have not been diagnosed with a chronic illness. Technically, gestational diabetes mellitus is most often just that – gestational, therefore a transient problem. I think the main problem I have is that I tend to over-educate myself about anything that’s going on in my life. And all that I’m reading points to a fairly huge risk of me being diagnosed as a Type 2 diabetic in the next 10-15 years. As in, a 30-50% risk.

So the changes I’m making now, to my diet and exercise regime, must be made for life, in reality. Knowing I must do this is not really the same thing as feeling like I can do it. Knowing something is only for the next 10-12 weeks is entirely different, and entirely doable. (And for the record, I am doing it – I’m eating well, exercising, and have been losing what little weight I’ve put on through the pregnancy). Changing my habits for the rest of my life involves overcoming years of poor eating and exercise habits, and years of the crap self-esteem which lurks beneath. It strikes me that forewarned is not always forearmed. Sometimes, to be forewarned is to be burdened with excess stress and anxiety, both of which add their own little risk factors to one’s health.

Right now, I’m having a hard time coming to the ‘acceptance’ stage 😥

Meh. Must stitch…

2 responses to “Forewarned is…

  1. (((Melanie))) It sounds like you’re having a rough time and I’m sorry to hear that. I really hope that you don’t have to go to using insulin and are able to control the gestational diabetes by diet and exercise. Do you think you could get Finn and DH to participate in the exercise with you, make it fun? Maybe go toss a frisbee in the park or go for a walk…make it a family thing? We all know it’s important for us to exercise and eat well but that certainly can be a challenging thing.

    As for your potential to develop Type II diabetes in the future, I think it’s important that you’re aware of that possibility but try not to dwell on it. Maybe by making the lifestyle changes now you will reduce that future risk.

    I’m not really sure I add much more but if you feel the need to talk, please feel free to email me. 🙂

  2. Hi Mel.. thought I would make myself known as I have been lurking around reading your blog for a while now 🙂 (I think I cam across it on the Mira BB..)

    I fully understand what you mean about the over educationg yourself in regard to health issues though. I am most of the way through my PhD in biochem / Chem and find myself looking up all the info I probably don’t need when troubles arise. That extra information can be so dangerous at times.

    As for the diabetes, sorry to hear that it has happened but as you said gestational diabetes more often than not is just that. Besides if you look at it 50% odds are not that good anyway, hell in this day and age the chances are much higher for delveloping type II diabetes for a lot of the population. Soon you will have a new baby to keep you busy and on your toes. From what I’ve seen running around after two active children is one sure way to keep you on your toes 🙂

    Hope you are feeling better soon and things start to look up. Can’t wait to see more of your yummy looking floss.