Archive for the 'Pregnancy' Category
In her book “On Death and Dying” in 1969, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross proposed these ‘five stages of grief’:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
Apparently it is not unusual for patients diagnosed with chronic illness - not just terminal illnesses such as cancer - to progress through these stages (not necessarily separately or in order).
I believe it. It became apparent to me sometime early last week that I had progressed neatly from ‘denial’ to ‘anger’ over this whole diabetes debacle. I don’t recall any ‘bargaining’, but that could be because I don’t subscribe to any Higher Power with whom to bargain? Regardless, these last few days, I seem to have landed squarely in ‘depression’. Despite my best efforts of the last two weeks, I seem to be headed straight for the insulin, probably by the end of next week, would be my best guess.
I know, I know… technically I have not been diagnosed with a chronic illness. Technically, gestational diabetes mellitus is most often just that - gestational, therefore a transient problem. I think the main problem I have is that I tend to over-educate myself about anything that’s going on in my life. And all that I’m reading points to a fairly huge risk of me being diagnosed as a Type 2 diabetic in the next 10-15 years. As in, a 30-50% risk.
So the changes I’m making now, to my diet and exercise regime, must be made for life, in reality. Knowing I must do this is not really the same thing as feeling like I can do it. Knowing something is only for the next 10-12 weeks is entirely different, and entirely doable. (And for the record, I am doing it - I’m eating well, exercising, and have been losing what little weight I’ve put on through the pregnancy). Changing my habits for the rest of my life involves overcoming years of poor eating and exercise habits, and years of the crap self-esteem which lurks beneath. It strikes me that forewarned is not always forearmed. Sometimes, to be forewarned is to be burdened with excess stress and anxiety, both of which add their own little risk factors to one’s health.
Right now, I’m having a hard time coming to the ‘acceptance’ stage 
Meh. Must stitch…
April 07 2006 | Family and Pregnancy | 2 Comments »
Right now I could go a glass of good red wine or three, but cancel that too 
I’ve just had a crappy phone call to top off a pretty blah week. I have gestational diabetes. Just fricking fabulous!
Sorry. I know it’s not the end of the world, but it’s just one more thing to add to my list of ‘why-I-wish-this-pregnancy-was-over-already’. And three weeks before the annual chocolate-orgy that is Easter… that’s just cruel and unusual punishment, wouldn’t you say?!
March 24 2006 | Family and Pregnancy | 6 Comments »
So, I fully intended to sit down and write a somewhat shamefaced apology to the world on behalf of all Melbourne for the giant flying koalas debacle… but I kind of got distracted by my health.
I am still sorry about the koalas. And the duck. Let me just say this… it was not MY idea! Our ‘esteemed’ Premier said in an interview just prior to last night’s opening ceremony that said ceremony would showcase Melbourne as the truly sophisticated city we are. Um. Yeah.
But that’s all forgotten now. I get a gold star for my blood pressure today!
See, for the last six weeks, I have been deliberately not talking about all things pregnancy. Because the more I talk about it, the more I think about it, and the more stressed I get. And the more it becomes a problem. My blood pressure, that is. The problem, it seems, and I have believed this for some years anyway, is that I have what is affectionately known as ‘white-coat hypertension’. Essentially, that means doctors stress me out to the point where my blood pressure increases just by visiting one! It just kind of makes it hard to accurately monitor my bp. I have experienced the joy of having a 24-hour monitor strapped to me once before, and 90% of all the measurements were within a normal range. Admittedly, my ‘normal’ bp is on the high end of the scale, but not to the point of requiring treatment.
Those of you who’ve been pregnant, however, know how antsy doctors get about blood pressure and pre-eclampsia and whatnot. So six weeks ago, when my bp was suddenly high at one antenatal visit, I was launched through a barrage of extra visits, endocrinologists and fun tests. One of the ‘features’ of the public health system (and please don’t misunderstand me, I love the public system and that I can still have a baby for free, nada, zip in this country) is that you never seem to see the same doctor twice. That sucks for white-coat hypertensives, and frankly, the bedside manner of the last three doctors I saw left much to be desired.
Today - brilliance! I saw someone who in fact turned out to be someone who was once a semi-colleague of mine. During my honours research year I was stationed in a hospital department partnered with his. He recognized me, which was nice. And, he treated me like a human being. What’s more, like an intelligent human being. You have no idea how much more at ease this puts me. After talking things through with him, my BP today was back down to normal (for me), which makes me super happy. Now that it’s officially on the hospital record that I have eccentric bp, even the scowling doctors should be somewhat appeased, and what’s more I feel better armed to discuss my options from hereforth. No, it’s not a guarantee against pre-eclampsia, by any means, but it makes me feel much more confident that I’m not heading directly (do-not-pass-Go) down that route.
March 16 2006 | Family and General Ramblings and Pregnancy | 3 Comments »
Well… um…
No comments on the last post! At all. That kind of reminds me why I don’t lay my heart out very often. I’ll just pick it back up off the blog floor now and go back to ’safe’ posts. Or maybe I’ll just pretend you all forgot the way here and no-one read it. Yeah. That’s it.
OK, no more feeling sorry for myself, I promise. After I finished writing that post and went back to bed (yes, it was really that time here… not sleeping well of late), one Small person decided to have a party in my belly and remind me in her infinite wisdom that in the eternal cycle, life follows death just as certainly as death follows life.
Her! Yes, I said her 
! See, you knew I wasn’t going to keep that secret for long, didn’t you? Yes, Small is a she-Small. She in fact has a name now, but in the interest of keeping something for later, I’ll keep that to myself.
(Also in the interest of just-in-case-the-sonographer-is-wrong… in which case we will of course name him ‘Sue’!)
Check out the mugshot… check out that huge head! Yes, just like both of her parents, she needs a giant head to keep her giant brain in 
Anyway, as the measurements came through (at 20 weeks, measuring about 21), my hopes of having a ‘normal’ birth began to fade. Either way, I will of course be happy, as long as she’s OK, but I really was hoping to avoid a second caesarian.
In other brief news, the three 2½ day cram is about to begin. I haven’t been able to focus on studying effectively for Monday’s exam, so tomorrow I’m running away to Mum’s place, sans family, to stick my head down and get it under control. You won’t notice I’m gone, of course… not because no-one visits my blog anymore (sob!), but because I have a fascinating post lined up to auto-post itself while I’m gone. Apart from that, I shall report back on Monday night.
PS. Ahh, now, you see, I look silly. I just get through posting this, then Annette left me the most lovely comment on the last entry. Thankyou Annette, I am humbled by your appreciation.
February 10 2006 | Family and Postgrad Study and Pregnancy | 7 Comments »
Yes, I edited this post. Very ‘1984′ of me, I know 
The self-indulgent whine I had annoyed me too much, so I got rid of it. All is well in the world…
Twenty weeks today, twenty weeks today… yay us for making it this far! We’ll be finding out on Thursday (two more sleeps) if Small is a heSmall or a sheSmall… though I’m not sure we’re going to be telling the world this time. (Yeah, that’s what we said last time! Finn was named from that day forth, and everybody knew about it). Finn and I went off to buy a video to record the scan for posterity today, and he was convinced that this means we’re “taking Small out” on Thursday. Ha! I wish
January 31 2006 | Family and Pregnancy | Comments Off
I have nothing against Christmas Carols, really, I don’t. Though I am otherwise unwaveringly secular, and refrain even from singing hymns on the rare occasions I am present in a church, I quite like Christmas Carols. They put a bit of pep in my step and make shopping centres at Christmas time (almost) bearable. But I do have a limit. And my limit, it has been breached.
Given that I spend an unfortunate amount of time in public restrooms, what with pregnancy and the diminutive bladder of a 3-year-old to contend with, I think I am qualified to make the statement:
CHRISTMAS CAROLS PIPED INTO PUBLIC TOILETS ARE OVER-STEPPING THE LINE PEOPLE!!!
Apart from that little peeve o’mine, festive goings-on have been low-key but enjoyable this year. We have A REAL TREE. Yes, a real, living tree died for our amusement this year 
Though I feel slightly guilty in a tree-hugger kind of way, I have to confess, I love the smell of pine in the house. We’ve gone back to breakable ornaments this year, as Finn is not particularly grabby, and understands ‘gentle’. We figure it will be back to the more durable set next year, with a 6 month old around. The unbreakables are red and gold, not my preferred colour-scheme. This year we added some purple into our blue and silver mix, and the tree looks great. There are some photos hiding out on my camera, I’ll get to posting them some time. The gift wrapping is all in purple and silver, and looks faaaabulous! My hand stitched ornaments have not yet emerged, but I had planned to prop them against cards on the mantelpiece - someday I’ll have enough to do a whole tree, but not yet.
We waited an hour in the middle of the night (almost) to see the Myer Christmas windows, because that, apparently, is what you do when you have a child. The display was, well… okay, I suppose. Some newfangled Christmas story I’ve never heard of. Finn was somewhat underwhelmed - I think the anticipation was more enjoyable than the actual event. (Like Christmas as a whole, I’ve always found!) He was much more excited the night we drove around seeking Christmas lights - the Boulevard in Ivanhoe always has wonderfully lit houses, but we found others in pockets about town. I enjoyed that a whole lot more too.
In other news, there isn’t any, really. Still tired, tired, tired, tired, tired. Not a whole lot of stitching going on, though I have made some progress on Chatelaine’s Xmas freebie mandala garden, which was begun shortly after last Christmas. Again, I will post a picture… sometime. Along with a pic of my framed WFS, which now awaits some appropriate wall-colour upon which to hang. Moving into 2nd trimester, hoping for a serious energy injection any day now…
December 19 2005 | Family and General Ramblings and Pregnancy | Comments Off
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