Flipping a Coin

Reverse psychology is a funny ol’ thing, isn’t it?! Let me ‘splain. I received a job-offer yesterday. It caught me completely off guard actually. I went to have a lecturer of mine sign some paperwork associated with a big administrative nightmare I’ve been undergoing at Uni this last couple of months. And she offered me a sessional teaching position for Semester 2 this year – Head Tutor for Usability Engineering 😮

Last time I took a position it was also for this lecturer. Evidently she has a lot of faith in me. Faith that I’m not sure I have myself, but hey. I tutored in Java for a semester, and it was a valuable experience for me to have.

But let’s recap. Baby – due June 20. Semester 2 – starting July 24. Hmmm… seriously short interval there, doncha think?!

Anyway, because I was taken by surprise, and also quite flattered by the offer, I didn’t say NO immediately, even though that was my initial reaction. Then, after I told a couple of people, their reactions of “Ooh, that’s a bit soon, don’t you think?” started making me examine the possibility and thinking perhaps it might be doable after all.

The driving concern behind that thinking is that I worry I will have a gaping hole in my CV between graduating Masters and a possible return to the workforce. And if I don’t return to the workforce, then what was the point of the Masters in the first place? I’ve always had some difficulty with being ‘just’ a stay-at-home-Mum, even though I know it’s such a valuable gift to give to my children.

Ok… moving on. Looking for some additional feedback to help me decide, I posted on the Wagon BB that I was thinking of saying yes, and did everyone think I was crazy? Well, apparently no-one thought I was crazy to think of taking this on when I will still be counting weeks since the birth on one hand.

Which is the point at which I made up my mind to in fact turn down the offer. See… reverse psychology! Or something. I compared it to that magical way of making a decision – flip a coin, see what the answer is, and if you don’t like the answer then you’ll know what you wanted all along :giggle:

I started remembering those early weeks. Though I recovered quite quickly from my caesarean, the sleep deprivation kicked me for six. And Finn was a relatively good sleeper. What if Small is a rotten sleeper? Or I have a second caesar from which I don’t recover quite so quickly?

I’ve been pretty much stressed out for most of Finn’s life while I’ve been completing this degree – remember this post? I owe it to Finn, to OtherHalf, to Small, and most of all to ME, to take it easy for a while. If and when I decide to start my next career, I’ll just have to struggle with ‘the gap’ and finding the right job when I get there. And if I don’t… well, my education will still not have been in vain. The enjoyment and self-satisfaction I’ve gained from being back at Uni have been worth the stress and hard work.

Yes really!

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