Tag Archives: Pregnancy

Forewarned is…

In her book “On Death and Dying” in 1969, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross proposed these ‘five stages of grief’:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Apparently it is not unusual for patients diagnosed with chronic illness – not just terminal illnesses such as cancer – to progress through these stages (not necessarily separately or in order).

I believe it. It became apparent to me sometime early last week that I had progressed neatly from ‘denial’ to ‘anger’ over this whole diabetes debacle. I don’t recall any ‘bargaining’, but that could be because I don’t subscribe to any Higher Power with whom to bargain? Regardless, these last few days, I seem to have landed squarely in ‘depression’. Despite my best efforts of the last two weeks, I seem to be headed straight for the insulin, probably by the end of next week, would be my best guess.

I know, I know… technically I have not been diagnosed with a chronic illness. Technically, gestational diabetes mellitus is most often just that – gestational, therefore a transient problem. I think the main problem I have is that I tend to over-educate myself about anything that’s going on in my life. And all that I’m reading points to a fairly huge risk of me being diagnosed as a Type 2 diabetic in the next 10-15 years. As in, a 30-50% risk.

So the changes I’m making now, to my diet and exercise regime, must be made for life, in reality. Knowing I must do this is not really the same thing as feeling like I can do it. Knowing something is only for the next 10-12 weeks is entirely different, and entirely doable. (And for the record, I am doing it – I’m eating well, exercising, and have been losing what little weight I’ve put on through the pregnancy). Changing my habits for the rest of my life involves overcoming years of poor eating and exercise habits, and years of the crap self-esteem which lurks beneath. It strikes me that forewarned is not always forearmed. Sometimes, to be forewarned is to be burdened with excess stress and anxiety, both of which add their own little risk factors to one’s health.

Right now, I’m having a hard time coming to the ‘acceptance’ stage 😥

Meh. Must stitch…

Cancel Those Chocolate Eggs

Right now I could go a glass of good red wine or three, but cancel that too 🙁 I’ve just had a crappy phone call to top off a pretty blah week. I have gestational diabetes. Just fricking fabulous!

Sorry. I know it’s not the end of the world, but it’s just one more thing to add to my list of ‘why-I-wish-this-pregnancy-was-over-already’. And three weeks before the annual chocolate-orgy that is Easter… that’s just cruel and unusual punishment, wouldn’t you say?!

Gold Star For Me!

So, I fully intended to sit down and write a somewhat shamefaced apology to the world on behalf of all Melbourne for the giant flying koalas debacle… but I kind of got distracted by my health.

I am still sorry about the koalas. And the duck. Let me just say this… it was not MY idea! Our ‘esteemed’ Premier said in an interview just prior to last night’s opening ceremony that said ceremony would showcase Melbourne as the truly sophisticated city we are. Um. Yeah.

But that’s all forgotten now. I get a gold star for my blood pressure today!

See, for the last six weeks, I have been deliberately not talking about all things pregnancy. Because the more I talk about it, the more I think about it, and the more stressed I get. And the more it becomes a problem. My blood pressure, that is. The problem, it seems, and I have believed this for some years anyway, is that I have what is affectionately known as ‘white-coat hypertension’. Essentially, that means doctors stress me out to the point where my blood pressure increases just by visiting one! It just kind of makes it hard to accurately monitor my bp. I have experienced the joy of having a 24-hour monitor strapped to me once before, and 90% of all the measurements were within a normal range. Admittedly, my ‘normal’ bp is on the high end of the scale, but not to the point of requiring treatment.

Those of you who’ve been pregnant, however, know how antsy doctors get about blood pressure and pre-eclampsia and whatnot. So six weeks ago, when my bp was suddenly high at one antenatal visit, I was launched through a barrage of extra visits, endocrinologists and fun tests. One of the ‘features’ of the public health system (and please don’t misunderstand me, I love the public system and that I can still have a baby for free, nada, zip in this country) is that you never seem to see the same doctor twice. That sucks for white-coat hypertensives, and frankly, the bedside manner of the last three doctors I saw left much to be desired.

Today – brilliance! I saw someone who in fact turned out to be someone who was once a semi-colleague of mine. During my honours research year I was stationed in a hospital department partnered with his. He recognized me, which was nice. And, he treated me like a human being. What’s more, like an intelligent human being. You have no idea how much more at ease this puts me. After talking things through with him, my BP today was back down to normal (for me), which makes me super happy. Now that it’s officially on the hospital record that I have eccentric bp, even the scowling doctors should be somewhat appeased, and what’s more I feel better armed to discuss my options from hereforth. No, it’s not a guarantee against pre-eclampsia, by any means, but it makes me feel much more confident that I’m not heading directly (do-not-pass-Go) down that route.


Well… um…

No comments on the last post! At all. That kind of reminds me why I don’t lay my heart out very often. I’ll just pick it back up off the blog floor now and go back to ‘safe’ posts. Or maybe I’ll just pretend you all forgot the way here and no-one read it. Yeah. That’s it.

OK, no more feeling sorry for myself, I promise. After I finished writing that post and went back to bed (yes, it was really that time here… not sleeping well of late), one Small person decided to have a party in my belly and remind me in her infinite wisdom that in the eternal cycle, life follows death just as certainly as death follows life.

Her! Yes, I said her 😉 ! See, you knew I wasn’t going to keep that secret for long, didn’t you? Yes, Small is a she-Small. She in fact has a name now, but in the interest of keeping something for later, I’ll keep that to myself.
(Also in the interest of just-in-case-the-sonographer-is-wrong… in which case we will of course name him ‘Sue’!)

Check out the mugshot… check out that huge head! Yes, just like both of her parents, she needs a giant head to keep her giant brain in :giggle: Anyway, as the measurements came through (at 20 weeks, measuring about 21), my hopes of having a ‘normal’ birth began to fade. Either way, I will of course be happy, as long as she’s OK, but I really was hoping to avoid a second caesarian.

In other brief news, the three 2½ day cram is about to begin. I haven’t been able to focus on studying effectively for Monday’s exam, so tomorrow I’m running away to Mum’s place, sans family, to stick my head down and get it under control. You won’t notice I’m gone, of course… not because no-one visits my blog anymore (sob!), but because I have a fascinating post lined up to auto-post itself while I’m gone. Apart from that, I shall report back on Monday night.

PS. Ahh, now, you see, I look silly. I just get through posting this, then Annette left me the most lovely comment on the last entry. Thankyou Annette, I am humbled by your appreciation.

Alien Child

I was planning to show you our first pic of BabeMkII. But decided I shouldn’t, because frankly, I wouldn’t want to scare you. You might think I was planning to give birth to Alien Child!

Seriously. We got a tragic picture of Finn at the first scan, too. Why are the ultrasound techs (or in this case, the doctor) so uninterested in getting us a good picture? Sigh.

But. We saw fingers (5, on at least the hand we saw. Good sign, right?!), and a heartbeat, and what little else you can see at 11 weeks. It was all rather cute. Apart from the Alien-Child-ness of it all :giggle:

So, instead of showing you a work in progress, let me present a HD instead. Ta Da! Blackberry Jam is done, done, done. It was a lot of fun… mostly. Perhaps with the exception of all that backstitching. Which made me stall for a while, but yesterday I finally decided to buckle down and finish. So click through for the whole kaboodle, and enjoy!

The Occasional Blogger

Have been in a bit of a funk lately. I seem to have developed a case of the baby-blues – only about 7 or 8 months too early. Having been sick (non-pregnancy related, I’m lucky enough not to get morning sickness), not to mention all of the stresses of last month, has caused me to slip into my own private doldrums. But the good news is, I am clawing my way back out, I have a bit more energy this week, and in the meanwhile, I’m stitching, which is a capital-G Good Thing.

I also received a most lovely RAK from Tami Lynne on The Wagon yesterday – Legends of the Dragons, which just cheered up my day no end. And today I bought myself and the babe-to-be this stunning book (this is the US cover art – as is so often the case, it has a much nicer cover over here :giggle: ). This book is just lovely. Everyone should go and buy a copy – kids or no kids – buy it for yourself as a meditation aid or something. The artwork is gorgeous, and I am in love with the beautiful simplicity of the book. Yes, it is ‘just’ a kids’ ABC book, but trust me on this!

In further good news, after much grinding of teeth and waiting on hold, I got through to someone with half a clue on the washing machine issue today, and it would appear that we are getting a new machine at 8am tomorrow! Stay tuned… hopefully a happy dance and much laundry will happen in the very near future.

Oh… and look out for a retrospective post sometime in the next few days – dated November 11, which was our 5th wedding anniversary (no, we won’t ever forget 😉 ). I thought I’d pull out a couple of photographs and a recap of ‘the day’ for you.

But now… must go to bed. OtherHalf (usually completely uninterested in Sport apart from that involving cars), is swearing at the incompetence of the Australian Soccer Team. Fer crying out loud – am I the only person in Australia who hasn’t got on this bandwagon?!

PS. I just noticed my blog is not adjusted for Daylight Savings time. How interesting! Will do something about that when I get a chance…